Personal Transportation


They have so many different vehicles that they have to name them. You can’t just buy a “car”. You have to buy a Honda Civic, for example. Or a Ford Focus. Mercury Mountaineer. As you can see, the names have nothing to do with anything about the car. The Santa Fe isn’t made in Santa Fe. I don’t know where it’s made. Someplace where they don’t have a place named “Santa Fe”, though.

Anyway, they seem pretty keen on names that relate to boats or disasters. Corvette. Corsair. Avalanche.  An Avalanche is when a whole bunch of snow falls down a mountain all at once. And, given their liking of one-up-man-ship, I expect the near future to bring the Tsunami, Drought, Starvation, or maybe the Honda Extinction Level Event. Given the rate their fuel consumption is destroying the planet, this would be an apt name.

But my favorite name combines boats, disasters and one-up-man-ship. The Armada. Not just a boat. A fleet of boats. The most famous armada is not a metaphor you want to aspire to. A fleet of boats that failed its objective. Not only did it fail, it burnt to the ground. Surrounded by water, it still burnt to the ground.

“Oh my god! The boats are on fire! What will we use to put it out? We’re in the middle of the water! There’s nothing but water for miles in all directions! We’re doomed! If only we had some large, heavy canvas sheets to smother the flames with, at least! And whose idea was it to build these things out of wood and load them with gunpowder, anyway? Oh, water, water e- Wait.”

Too late.

I’m curious how that pitch meeting went.

“Wait. Is this a car, or a new car company?”

“Just one car.”

“But isn’t an armada more than one car?”



Observer003 – Earthlings

Monday: Part II – Marketing Has A Dry Spell

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