Modern Earthling Art Part II – Let’s All Go to the Movies!


This freaking thing starts here:

Film can be even worse than the other arts. You can just walk by a painting or a sculpture. But for some reason, once you’ve paid for a movie you feel obligated to stick it out.

The problem here is that the duller a movie is, the more highly it is praised. I once sat through a whole movie waiting for a plot to happen. It never did. Seriously. There’s this one Earthling famous for filming a woman sitting at a kitchen table staring out a window for ten minutes and then not editing that down. These droners are labeled “art house” movies, I guess to warn people to bring a pillow or some knitting.

Plus, the more people that go see a movie, the worse it is considered to be. Obviously this is crazy. It’s in pop culture that a people’s true beliefs reside. Going to movies makes my job easier by a ton. The aggregation of their hopes, beliefs and desires are distilled into the stories they love. When a movie resonates with the majority of the people it’s a good bet that it represents some of their core beliefs.

Earthlings are storytellers. The stories they love involve action, adversity and romance. (The level of kissing is the dividing line between “male” and “female” movies.) And the characters they love are the ones who take action to overcome adversity and/or find true love. They call these people action heroes. You won’t find an Earthling hero who stays at home and masturbates himself to death.

Even if the adversity they have to overcome is something about themselves they can still be heroes. In fact, these are usually the best heroes.

General truths I’ve gleaned from watching movies.

Earthling women like stories about passion and forbidden love. Earthling men like stories with punching and explosions.

Men like a male hero who holds justice to be higher than the law, will use any level of violence to achieve it, and is pithy. Women like a male hero who risks it all for love, then dies, and is pithy.

Women like a female hero who is emotionally expressive and is pretty but not gorgeous. Men like a female hero who doesn’t upstage the male hero and wears snug combat gear.

* * * * *

Myths are about what people feel is missing from their lives. So Earthling men are powerless, unfairly persecuted, and unsupported by their flabby female companions. Earthling women are bored, emotionally horny and lack sufficient reason to sob.

All of this also applies to literature, too, but Earthlings don’t read books anymore.

Obeserver003 – Earthlings

Tomorrow: Part III – Beneath the Emperor’s No Clothes

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