How They View Us: Part II – The Bad

Reasons-for-InvasionThis report starts here.

The other view of us is that we come here to conquer them or, at the very least, hunt them for sport. This second one I don’t get as they are pretty slow, weak and soft shelled. The fact that they walk upright doesn’t help them hide, either.

In this version we are stronger, faster and more durable than them. You can shoot the crap out of us and we still come back. Now that I think of it, their best defense would be to throw their horror movie villains at us. Those guys are better than superheros. And all they need is hatchets. They can even get us in our dreams. I saw one who was burnt up. Absolutely consumed by fire. He still came back. Shivers. It gives me shivers.

Short of this, their go-to defense are maverick cops (for small batches) or a small team of soldiers with pluck and gumption (for full scale invasions). Scientists used to be the way to go, but Earthlings have soured on them.

Our goals for invasion are uncomplicated. We want slaves, resources, or a new home. Come to think of it, those are their goals when they invade each other. Are we just metaphors for them? That would make me … I don’t even know!

One other possibility is that we eat them. Like they’re so tasty. That’s arrogant. There’s better meats in the universe, as we all know.

Worst case scenario, we attach ourselves to their faces, force a probe down their throat and plant an embryo which, after gestating, explodes from their chest cavity. There’s so much psycho-sexual stuff here that I don’t even want to touch that I’ll just say: “Jesus Christ guys. Please, please, please, resolve these issues before you leave your own solar system. We’d all feel a lot safer.”

Observer003 – Earthlings

Next: The Impractical

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