The Taint

The taint is the part of the human anatomy between their anus and penis or hoo-hoo. Or both, because there are Earthlings who have a penis and a hoo-hoo. They … Continue Reading →

Things on Notice

Things Themselves

I hate things. Objects. They’re so willful, yet slavishly obedient to the laws of physics. “Oooo – If you knock me over, I’ll fall immediately to the ground and break, … Continue Reading →


Al-kee-hoo: Part II –A Paradoxical Paradox

This report starts here. They hit upon alcohol pretty early in their existence and they’ve been concerned about it ever since. Like everything they come across that causes pleasure, a … Continue Reading →


Al-kee-hoo – Part I: A Liquid Contronym

It is the greatest of fluids; it is the worst of fluids. It is the bringer of joy; it is the bringer of woe. It releases tension; it creates tension. … Continue Reading →

Suffering for Comfort

They all claim to strive for comfort, but once they get there, they look fondly back on how much they suffered before. For how much they strive for leisure and … Continue Reading →

The Troublesome Penis

Cock Fight: Part II – Semantics

This report starts here. Men are very focused on their penis size; It’s a big issue for them. Small ones are laughed at. Large ones are envied. There is a … Continue Reading →

Shiva's Pillar of Fire

Wiener War

There’s a story where Brahma and Vishnu were arguing over which of them was the dick-swingingest god. Brahma was like, “Dude, I’m the Creator. I created all this. Ergo, I’m … Continue Reading →



I have a bad habit of thinking the actual question being asked is the question actually being asked. I’ve come to expect this sort of confusion when talking to the … Continue Reading →

Lot's Wife

Sodom. And also Gomorrah: Part III –Lot’s Wife, Pillar of the Community (Ba-dum, Pshh)

This report starts here. The next day, Lot and all headed out. As they left, the angels warned everyone not to look back at the city because it was about … Continue Reading →


Sodom. And also Gomorrah: Part II – The Low Bar for Righteous

This report starts here. YHWH’s angels went to Sodom and at the gate they found this guy, Lot, who, as it happens, was Abraham’s nephew. “Good sirs! May I offer … Continue Reading →

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