First_Report_A

Basic Earthling Cuisine: Spugety

I was going through some old papers and I stumbled upon what must be my first report. See attached. While brief, it is notable on a couple of points. First, … Continue Reading →


prehensile-tongue

Bugs: Part III – The Possible Upside

This report starts here. There’s a kind of drink here called tequila. Tequila – I’ll just have to get into alcohol in another report. The point is, some bottles of … Continue Reading →


Not Food

Bugs: Part II – You’re Kidding Me, Right?

This report starts here. No Earthlings eat poop. Or at least no Earthlings advocate eating poop. But some do advocate for the next worse thing. Entomophagy. Discovering that eating bugs … Continue Reading →


Wolf_Spider

Bugs

Bugs are little nightmares made real. They have to be small because if they were human sized, every Earthling would go insane. (Er.) Most of their worst depictions of us … Continue Reading →


Silk_Worm

Vomit Clothes

Imagine there’s a tiny creature that vomits up a tiny room so it can change into a tiny, pretty party dress. Then imagine there’s bigger creature that takes that room … Continue Reading →


Wiener

Churning the Sea of Milk: Part V – Vishnu, the Glory Hog

This report starts here. The penultimate thing to be spat from the Sea of Milk was Kaustubha, the most valuable jewel in the world that’s made of milk. Vishnu grabbed … Continue Reading →


ravana2a

Churning the Sea of Milk: Part IV – The Gifts Keep Coming!

This report starts here. Next up from the Sea of Milk was the moon. Shiva grabbed it. “Shit, yeah. I’m gonna wear it.” And he did. “Like a hat.” Okay. … Continue Reading →


gum

Churning the Sea of Milk: Part III – Cash and Prizes

This report starts here. A thousand years of churning started to pay off in that things began popping out of the milk that you wouldn’t think would pop out  from … Continue Reading →


asura-vs-devi

Churning the Sea of Milk: Part II – It’s a Trap!

This report starts here. To churn the Sea of Milk though, they needed the help of the asuras, who were the enemies of the gods. Demons, essentially. So the gods … Continue Reading →


Shiva-poison

Churning the Sea of Milk: Part I – Snake Chiropractic

The Hindu gods don’t have a solid command structure. Indra, who’s the king of their gods, pissed off a rishi, who’s just a human. Rishis have mystical powers, so this … Continue Reading →